Uh oh....

Yeah, uh oh is right.

As sad as it is, I have a bad habit of letting my thoughts get the best of me. And no matter how many time people have told me (mostly Ingrid, my counsellor) that thoughts are not facts, I still let myself get worked up over things. Stupid things, things that most people wouldn't even give a second thought to. Oh, but I do. I like to analyze things and that usually leads to me worrying about something and it makes my anxiety go crazy.

At the moment I'm trying to remember what I was so worked up over. Like I said, thoughts get the best of me and most the time after I snap I can't even remember what it was I was so upset about. When I snapped, I wanted to cut, and I sat in my room for 45 minutes with a razor wanting to, but fighting with myself that it wasn't right and I promised many people I wouldn't. As I was crying, my hair kept sticking to my face and I snapped again and stormed into the bathroom. And you know what I did? I cut my hair... lmao Right now I'm sitting here thinking, "I hope tomorrow I don't look in the mirror and go 'OH MY FUCK. WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE.'" I mean, I didn't cut a lot of it.. I trimmed the back and my bangs mostly, and fixed some of my layers (and probably added more because I had no idea what i was doing..).

I'm trying my best not to make this end negativly. But it is negative. And I shouldn't have allowed myself to reach that point. I should have called someone, even my mom, so this could've been avoided :\ At least I'm okay now.

~ Sascha